Santa Banta Jokes_4

 

ESL_L 3

Learn about families and relatives.

This is Mary. Mary Bell.
This is George. George Bell.
Mary and George are married to each other.
	George is Mary's husband. Mary is George's wife. They are husband and wife.
Mr and Mrs Bell have two children. Carol and Robert Bell.
This is Carol Bell. Carol is their daughter.
This is Robert Bell. Robert is their son.
	Robert is older than Carol. He is Carol's big brother. Carol is younger than Robert. She is Robert's little sister. They are brother and sister. They are Mr and Mrs Bell's children.
	George is Carol and Robert's father. Mary is Carol and Robert's mother. They are Carol and Robert's parents.

Emily. Emily Richards.
This is Edgar. Edgar Richards.
	Mr and Mrs Richards are Mary's parents. She is their daughter. Mary's name before she got married was Mary Richards. Mary Richards is her maiden name, Mary Bell is her married name. Edgar and Emily are Carol and Robert's grandparents. Carol and Robert are their grandchildren. Mr Richards is their grandfather. They call him grandad. Mrs Richards is their grandmother. They call her granny. Carol is their granddaughter and Robert is their grandson. They're George Bell's in-laws. Mrs Richards is his mother-in-law and Edgar is his father-in-law. George is their son-in-law.

	Mr and Mrs Robert's have another daughter Anne. Anne is Mary's younger sister. She is the youngest. She isn't married. She is single. She is Carol and Robert's aunt. Carol is her niece and Robert is her nephew. Mary's husband George is her brother-in-law. She is George's sister-in-law.
	Mr and Mrs Robert's also have a son, Charles. Charles is Mary's older brother. He is the eldest. He is Carol and Robert's uncle. Charles was married, but he isn't any more. He's divorced. He is George's brother-in-law.
	This is Emma. She is Charles' baby. Charles is her father. She is Carol and Robert's cousin, they are her cousins too. Mary and Anne are her aunts, she is Mary and Anne's niece. George is her uncle, she is his niece.
	Charles, Mary and Anne are siblings.
	Charles, Mary, Anne, Emily, Edgar, Carol, Robert, Emma and George are all related. They are members of the same family. They are relatives.

ESL_L 2

Primary Colours

In art, there are three primary colours. These are colours that cannot be made by mixing other colours together. They are - red, blue, and yellow:-

	Red
	Blue
	Yellow

Secondary Colours

If you mix two primary colours together, you create what is called a secondary colour. Mixing red and blue creates purple; blue and yellow make green and yellow and red make orange.

	+		=		Purple
	+		=		Green
	+		=		Orange

Tertiary Colours

Tertiary colours are neutral colours such as browns and greys.

If you mix three primary colours together, you get a tertiary colour or if you mix a primary colour and a secondary colour you get a tertiary colour.

	Brown
	Grey

Black and White

	Black
	White

Black adds shadow to a colour.

But white makes a colour lighter.

	+		=		Pink
	+		=		Cream
	+		=		Light blue	Opposite		Dark blue
	+		=		Light green etc...

Everyday Greetings

Good morning.,
		Good afternoon.
		Good evening.
		"Goodbye."
			Good night."
			"Good night."

Special Greetings

	"Happy Christmas." or "Merry Christmas."
00.01 - 1st January	"Happy New Year!"
	"Happy Easter."
or etc....	"Good Luck!"
or etc...	"Congratulations!" or "Well done!"
	"Get well soon."

Shaking Hands

	When meeting someone formally for the first time, we shake their hand and say "How do you do?" or "Pleased to meet you." "How do you do?" isn't really a question, it just means "Hello".
	When young people meet informally they sometimes say "Give me five!" and slap their hands together (high five).
	Generally we do not shake hands with people we know well.

Naturally speaking

You say hello, and I say goodbye!
Follow the dialogue.
Mr Bean meets Mrs Breuer, one of his students, and her husband in the street.

Mr Bean:	Good morning, Mrs Breuer.
Mrs Breuer:	Good morning, Mr Bean. How are you?
Mr Bean:	I'm fine thanks, and you?
Mrs Breuer:	Not too bad. Mr Bean, this is my husband Michael, Michael this is Mr Bean my English teacher.
Mr Breuer:	Pleased to meet you.
Mr Bean:	Pleased to meet you too. Are you from Germany, Mr Breuer?
Mr Breuer:	Yes, East Germany, from Dresden. And you, are you from London?
Mr Bean:	No, I'm from Derby, but I live in London now.
Mrs Breuer:	Well, goodbye Mr Bean, it was nice to see you.
Mr Bean:	Yes, goodbye.

Formal to Informal Greetings and Introductions

First meetings

	Formal	Introducing yourself	Introducing others	Responding to an introduction	On Leaving
		How do you do? My name is Mrs Hand.	Mrs Hand, may I introduce my boss, Mr Smith.	Pleased to meet you Mrs Hand.	Goodbye. It's a pleasure to have met you.
		Hello, Lynne Hand. I'm the owner of this web site.	Lynne, I'd like you to meet John Smith, our salesman. John, this is Lynne Hand.	Pleased to meet you Lynne.	Goodbye. Nice to have met you.
		Lynne Hand.	Lynne, meet John, my husband. John, this is my teacher Lynne.	Hi, Lynne. How are you?	Bye. It was nice to meet you.
	Informal

Subsequent meetings

	Formal	Possible Greetings	Possible responses
		Hello, Mrs Hand.  It's nice to see you again.	What a pleasant surprise! How are you? It's been a while.
		Good morning Mrs Hand.  How are you today?	I'm very well thank you.  And you?
		Good afternoon, Mrs Hand.  It's good to see you.	Thank you.  It's nice to see you too.  How are you?
		Hello Lynne.  How are you doing?	Fine thanks.  What's new with you?
		Hi, Lynne! How's it going?	Not too bad, busy as ever.
		Hi, Lynne. How are things?	Oh fine. You know how it is.
	Informal

!Note - on first meetings say, "It's nice to meet you". For future meetings say, "It's nice to see you again".

Greetings and Introductions

First impressions are a really important aspect of British culture. Introducing yourself and others in the correct way is fraught with various do's and dont's of etiquette.

Introductions

In social situations, a man is traditionally introduced to a woman. However, in the business world introductions are based on a person's rank or position in an organisation. Whoever is the highest-ranking person is introduced to everyone else in order of their position. If you introduce two people of equal rank to each other, introduce the one you know less well to the one you know best.

Introducing Yourself

There might be occasions where you will have to introduce yourself. For example, if you are meeting a new colleague or an associate, you might start off by extending your hand and saying "Hello! I am .....". If you have been introduced earlier to someone, do not assume that the person would remember you and be prepared to reintroduce yourself should it be necessary. There are some useful tips below.

Greetings

The British do shake hands, i.e. when first introduced to new people, but we rarely shake hands when parting.
In an informal situation you may see social kissing (often just a peck on the cheek), this is acceptable between men and women and also between women who know each other very well, but it is rare that you will see two British men kissing, even if it is only on the cheek.

Useful tips

Introductions are much simpler if you can memorise a few simple rules.

Introducing others

In business a person of lower rank tends to be introduced to a person of higher rank. In other situations you may find that a younger person would be introduced to an older person and a man introduced to a woman.

Introducing yourself

When shaking hands people may give you their name without saying "Hello" or anything else. It can come across as a bit unfriendly, but it's not considered to be rude
For example:-

• I hold out my hand to you and say, "Lynne Hand."

If you wish to be on first-name terms with someone you can indicate this by stressing your first name:-
For example:-

• "Hello, my name is Lynne. Lynne Hand."

Reacting to an introduction

The response you give should have the same level of formality as the introduction.
There are some useful English greetings phrases in the basic English section.

ESL_L 1

Vowels

A         E          I           O         U

Consonants

B          C         D         F          G         H         J           K

L          M         N         P          Q         R          S          T

V         W        X         Y         Z

ä sound	ë sound	e sound	ï sound	o sound	yü sound	r sound	z sound
A	B	F	I	O	Q	R	Z
H	C	L	Y		U
J	D	M			W
K	E	N
	G	S
	P	X
	T
	V

Short & long vowel

AEIOU are the vowels

Each vowel can make a sound a short and a long

If there is only one vowel in a word then it will make the short sound

If there are two vowels , then the first one will make the long sound and the second one will make a short sound or be quite

The word cap has only one vowel a hense it makes its short sound

The word cape has two vowels a makes the long sound and the second one e stays silent

The word get has only one vowel e hense it makes its short sound

The word read has two vowels so the first vowel e makes the long sound and the second vowel a stays silent

If there is only one vowel in a word then it makes the short sound

Whole Numbers also known as Cardinal Numbers - used for counting

Symbol             Word  

0                                  Nought

1                                  One     

2                                  Two    

3                                  Three  

4                                  Four    

5                                  Five     

6                                  Six      

7                                  Seven

8                                  Eight    

9                                  Nine    

10                                Ten     

11                                Eleven 

12                                Twelve

13                                Thirteen           

14                                Fourteen          

15                                Fifteen 

16                                Sixteen

17                                Seventeen        

18                                Eighteen          

19                                Nineteen          

20                                Twenty

21                                Twenty-one ... 

30                                Thirty  

40                                Forty   

50                                Fifty    

60                                Sixty    

70                                Seventy           

80                                Eighty  

90                                Ninety 

100                              One hundred   

101                              One hundred and one ...          

102                              One thousand  

1,000,000                    One million

1,000,000,000,000      One billion

Ordinal Numbers - used for ranking

In figures          In words

1st                    the first

2nd                  the second       

3rd                   the third           

4th                   the fourth

5th                   the fifth

6th                   the sixth

7th                   the seventh      

8th                   the eighth         

9th                   the ninth           

10th                 the tenth          

11th                 the eleventh     

12th                 the twelfth        

13th                 the thirteenth    

14th                 the fourteenth   

15th                 the fifteenth      

16th                 the sixteenth     

17th                 the seventeenth

18th                 the eighteenth   

19th                 the nineteenth

20th                 the twentieth    

21st                  the twenty-first  ...

22nd                the twenty-second        ...

23rd                 the twenty-third            ...

24th                 the twenty-fourth          ...

25th                 the twenty-fifth  ...

26th                 the twenty-sixth            ...

27th                 the twenty-seventh        ...

28th                 the twenty-eighth          ...

29th                 the twenty-ninth            ...

30th                 the thirtieth       

40th                 the fortieth       

50th                 the fiftieth         

60th                 the sixtieth       

70th                 the seventieth   

80th                 the eightieth     

90th                 the ninetieth     

100th               the hundredth   

101st                the hundred and first     ...

1000^th              the thousandth 

Ordinal numbers are often used in fractions:-Fractions

Symbol Word  

1/8                   One eighth       

1/5                   One fifth          

1/4                   One quarter     

3/4                   Three quarters 

1/3                   One third         

2/3                   Two thirds       

1/2                   One half

What to say

 We often say "a" instead of "one".

 For example when we have the numbers 100 or 1/2 we say "A hundred" or "A half".

 For example:

11/2 - "One and a half."

When pronouncing decimals we use the word point to represent the dot. The numbers following the dot are pronounced separately.

 For example:

 When you have the number 1.36 we say "One point three six."

 Interesting Numbers

 ~ 0 ~

What could possibly be interesting about nothing?

Try writing the numbers zero ( 0 ) through nine ( 9 ).

 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Then write how many numbers you have counted:-

 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Yes, ten numbers, without using the number 10.

You can put as many noughts in front of a number without changing the value of that number:-

01, 002, 0003, 00004 ...

 In English 10, 20, 30, through to 90 are 1 ten, 2 tens, 3 tens, etc.

Also there are a number of ways you can say 0 in English.         When we use it             For example:-

0 = oh after a decimal point      9.02 = "Nine point oh two."

            in bus or room numbers            Rooom 101 = "Room one oh one."

 Bus 602 = "Bus six oh two."

            in phone numbers          9130472 = "Nine one three oh four seven two."

            in years             1906 = "Nineteen oh six."

0 = nought        before a decimal point   0.06 = "Nought point oh six."

0 = zero           in temperature   -10°C = "10 degrees below zero."

            US English for the number         0 = "Zero"

0 = nil   in football         Chelsea 2 Manchester United 0 = "Chelsea two Manchester United nil."

0 = love            in tennis            20 - 0 = "Twenty love."

~ 12 ~

The number 12 is often represented as a dozen and the number 6 as a half dozen.

 For example:

 12 eggs= "A dozen eggs."

 6 eggs = "Half a dozen eggs."

~ 13 ~

A dozen is 12, but a baker's dozen is 13, because in the past bakers who were caught shortchanging customers could be liable to severe punishment, so they used to add an extra bread roll to make up the weight.

~ 100 ~

A century is 100. The roman numeral for 100 is C, for centum.

One hundred is the basis of percentages (literally "per hundred"). 100% is the full amount of something.

~ 1 billion ~

When is a billion not a billion?

In British English billion  traditionally means a million million = 1,000,000,000,000 = 1012

 In American English billion  means a thousand million = 1,000,000,000 = 109

The American billion has become standard in technical and financial use.

However, to avoid confusion it is better to use the terms "thousand million" for 109 and "million million" for 1012.

Milliard " is French for the number 109. It is not used in American English but is sometimes, but rarely, used in British English.

Letters as Numbers

~ k ~

The letter k is often used to denote a thousand. So, 1k = 1,000.

If you see a job advertised and it offers a salary of £12k it means £12,000.00.

~ m ~

The letter m is often used to denote a million. So, 1m = 1,000,000.

If you see a job advertised and it offers a salary of £12m, apply for it!

~ bn ~

The letters bn denote a billion. So, 1bn is usually 1,000,000,000 (see above).

If you see a job advertised and it offers a salary of £12bn, it's probably a missprint.

myriad

The word myriad used to mean 10,000. Nowadays it's used to refer to a countless number or multitude of specified things.